Olympic Withdrawal

I admit I was addicted the Olympics.  I had to watch all swimming, and actually jumped up and cheered at times.  I watched our dissapointing track team and our surprising gymnastics teams.  I was outraged at some of the scoring although I have no idea what I should be looking for.  I am 100% positive that at least 2 of the Chinese gymnasts are under 15. 

After 2 weeks of knowing exactly what I was going to watch, I’m now suffering withdrawal.  The new season of my favorite shows (especially Dexter) has not yet started.  Therefore, I got to thinking about the next Olympics.

First of all, there is no way London can even come close to the opening or closing ceremonies that Beijing put on.  I’m thinking it’s going to be 5 guys drinking beer and fighting over soccer. 

Second, there need to be a few changes to some of the events.

Fencing – there is too much high-tech crap for what is essentially a sword fight.  Make the competitors dress up as Zorro and the Dread Pirate Roberts, and go at it with real swords.  There won’t be quite as many quick points.

Rhythmic Gymnastics – I have no idea how this became an Olympic sport.  It’s dancing around with a ribbon.  It’s something kids do in their rooms when no one is looking (not that I have any experience with this and say…socks).  If it’s going to stay, we need to make it more interesting.  There should be a grab bag of items.  The contestants should have to blindly reach into the bag and pull out their prop.  It could be a ribbon, it could be a machete, it could be a bowling ball.  Enjoy!

Team Handball – I watched this for 10 minutes before I figured out what sport it was.  It bears absolutely no resemblance to individual handball.  Team handball is like indoor soccer, but you use your hands.  It seems like a game you play in elementary school when running the mile gets rained out.  Why not make dodgeball an Olympic sport. 

As long as we’re rewarding medals for kids games, we might as well add a few. 

Spread Eagle – How great would it be to see someone get pegged in the nuts, and lose out on a medal because of it.  Adding insult to injury.

Marco Polo – Wouldn’t this be a great call?  “And that’s it!  It’s over!  The Americans win on a last-second Fish-out-of-water call.  What a great strategy to save their last Fish-out-of-water.  And look at the emotion from Lance Smith, the captain of this American Marco Polo team.  36 years old.  Said this would be his last Olympics, and he finally gets his gold medal.  And Blaine McKaskel.  The youngest member of the team.  Learned to play the game in an above ground pool.  Trained in community pools and lost his hair from chlorine poisoning.  A great story.  The United States takes gold in Marco Polo.”

When does Dexter start again?

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2 Responses to “Olympic Withdrawal”


  1. 1 mhelal2 August 26, 2008 at 9:55 pm

    I hate when people just talk about something they don’t know.

    You don’t know enough about handball to talk about it, so keep it to yourself, it’s fun game if you know how to play it, and it’s not that easy like the dodge ball, any retard can play dodge ball.

  2. 2 lwayswright August 26, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    I kept laughing at the “table tennis” matches. Those players were so serious about ping pong. My kids and I decided they needed to add a monopoly competition, guitar hero competition and a few things like that…come on…ping pong? What about pool? Or poker? LOL. I was really into it too. And the opening and closing ceremonies were amazing. I think, however, london may surprise you with thier stuff! They have some great theater over there!


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